Sense and Sensitivity

8th October '11

Loss
Deep loss
Mourning
Bellowing mourning

Mirth died today
With it the youthful joy

Do you belief in rebirth?

--

Oh so the mourning is for a death
That happened a while ago?

So what's with today?

Why is today cast in gloom
Of a shadow which hovered a while ago?

Did u not see then?
Did u not hear then?
Where were you then?

--

These seas of silence
This silent despair
I cannot take anymore

These few words
So heavy with darker meaning
This dreamless night
So cloudy with thoughts
I cannot take anymore

These trembles, So delirious with loneliness
This me, So brimming
I cannot take anymore

the last jigsaw piece

19th May '11

u know I love you..

somehow the love gets lost..

and all you hear are the words..

I want to tell you

hold me

hold me real close...

somehow you hear the opposite

and push me away

I want to tell you

it hurts

i'm scared

but all I do is lash out in anger...

at having to tell you...

and you not understanding

on your own

by your own sense of me

I'm not half the person I used to be

there's just some fragments of me remaining here and there

which somehow sometimes adhocly come together...

and I exist... as a fragmentary-multiperson, whose never complete

who begins but never finishes, or finishes but never begins...

it's like

you can see me

but I'm not there

it takes an effort to be whole again

in crowds, it's easy

to fit in, to stand out, to talk, to laugh, to sing, to dance, or just be grumpy..

but what do you do, when there's no audience?

when you're just alone, with yourself, and then sometimes with the one who's home..

do you become your own audience?

how can logic always work?

how can the right way be the same right way for all?

how can one fit the wrong piece in the right jigsaw?

what if the missing piece never existed?

Before dawn ramblings

7th January '11

coming back
is desired
coming back
isn't easy
coming back
pains.

I write to you in verse
situation of my heart
which has a lot of love to give
but, there's a but in between.

Memories they play these games
take you back, again and again.
a simple day, some hours,
some conversations, some exploration..
a friendship we embarked
but we never saw where we really arrived
before parting.

See-Saw

November '10

misty mountains
serenades of sonnets
instantly spreading blotting ink
dropping drops of loneliness
drip drip drop drop
up you go
down you go
seesaw seesaw
mood swings