But atleast

20th December '13

When everything’s crumbling and you have no control

Go to sleep

When everything’s a disarray and it keeps getting worse

Go to sleep

When all is wrong and what’s right is a blur

Go to sleep

When you awaken from the nightmares it really won’t be better

But atleast you’d have gotten some sleep.

When all’s a mess and mess is all you see

Just live

When drudgery, the life and life, the drudgery seem unending

Just live

When love’s there and there’s love but you just can’t feel it

Just live

When you’ve been living along everyday one by one it really won’t be better

But atleast you’d have lived some more.

Insomnia

26^th July ’12 : wee hours of the morning

Insomnia too strong,

The effect to deep.

Where have the dreams gone?

The nightmares too, dread light.

Ah! For the deep slumber

If it comes

it may

give relief..

even if

only

temporarily.

Return

1st July '12

The nightmare returns
     strikes me hard
                    I'm an invalid now.

Nothing matters now
     Nothing seeps through
                    gets through me.

Someone else fired the missiles
          and I became a casualty.

Everything's unsound
     the mind's undependable
          is like the time machine
               senile, unaware
                    living in different zones
                         in different moods
                              with deficient emotions. 

Excerpts from the lash

10th June '12



My heart is missing
and I cannot breathe
I'm living, not dead yet.
why me? why you? why us?
I ask myself, you and the darkness
no answers yet. no light yet.
I'm zigzagging through the world, the tasks
while I'm shattering into pieces.
I'm trying to hold myself together
but the pieces are lost.
I wonder again. Am I sure? Could this be me? Alive.
I pinch myself, I bite myself, I feel it.
I must be living.
Then how come I feel like dead?


sunshine
morning sunshine
happy sunshine
sunshine showers
sunshine yellow
rainbow sunshine
lovely sunshine
lifegiving sunshine
too much sunshine
warm sunshine
sunshine, too hot
I'm burning sunshine
ashes full of sunshine


Something is moving inside me.
Something, Someone is there
Otherwise how could I have handled it till now?
Something is alive, which is helping me function,
Write, do things, talk.
'Hello, Something Someone inside me
Please take over, completely
I can't carry on
Please.'

Sink

21st July, 2011

Black vipers stuck in the throat
Try to swallow the senses

The senses are drowning
The saliva's a whirling storm

Fingers knead their way to save
They're gunned down by barrels

There's blood in the bloody storm!

Ravens and rodents rot the ship
It's a stinking pothole now,
That what was once a dream.

A

18th March '11

a blank page

a pen

and no words

a poetry without a rhythm

a rhyme which doesn't ring

a night which turns agenda-less

a star which is lost

a friend whose far far away

a friend whose so close yet

a lover whose lost in ideal

a partner whose calculating the logic

a finger which has interrogated every angle

a tear which drops too easily

a straying lock of hair

a sleepy pair of eyes

a commitment of a lifetime

a parting of a week

a song, a sonnet

a ballad, a cuckoo

a nightmare, a dream

a hope, a dawn

Gypsy Chimera

28th September '05

torrent torrid..
migratory music..
vagabond mind..
santoor and table beats..
ragas and alap..
candles..water..light..
eyes and beauty..
beauty and eyes..
your eyes..
my eyes..
no barriers..
A hand raised..
a finger touches me..
Don't do that..
I'll die..
Please don't..
I'd forgotten the feel of you....
I'm too weak..
I'll melt totally..
I can't take the ecstacy of your touch..
aroma..sizzles..
and then fizzles..
tears..
I'd said "No" and u went away..
AS IF A DREAM
or a floating-fleeting nightmare.