Life in Boxes

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8th July 2019

Life in boxes

one house to another

Life in boxes

One home to another

Some stuff were broken

Some things were abandoned

Somethings we acquired new

But I was me and you were you

Life in boxes

One house to another

Life in boxes

One home to another

Where are my books?

Where is that yellow pan?

My diary, my pen – there they are

But something’s missing, where you are?

This one thing is not here

This one thing is not found

This one thing, I need, I must,

This one thing got lost in the round

Life in boxes

one house to another

Life in boxes

One home to another

Where is that boo to my bibiddi bobidi?

Where is that thing that turns my key?

Where is that?

Where is that?

It’s in a box

Wrapped in bubble

Travelling the abyss of time

Time travellers. Ahoy!

Life in Neverwhere

18th Sep '2018

I feel like I'm alive when I wake up from my nightmares
But as the hours pass I begin to lose my life again
Going through the have-toos of the day
I cling to my night pillow
But no sleep comes my way
And when it does, it comes with nightmares

I don't think much
Don't live in the past
Nor do I contemplate the future
I'm not in the moment as well
I'm just lost somewhere
In the abyss of time
A neverwhere

I told you so

15th September '18

you were 18, I was 18

we became friends.

best friends

you were 20, I was  20

we expressed our love to each other

promised eternity

you were my first love. I wasn’t yours

you’re my only love.  but am I yours?

if I’ve known love, I’ve known only through you

if I’ve known pain, I’ve known only through you

the smell of you drives me mad. it haunts me

I smell your towels, I smell your shirts,

I smell you and I’m high.

you’re the one, I’ve always loved

you’re the dream, my only dream

the touch of you melts me.

it’s something I can’t do without

it’s something I need to sleep safely at night.

if I’ve known ecstasy, I’ve known only through you

if I’ve known vulnerable threat, I’ve known only through you

I’ve always hung on to your every word

believed every one of them to be true

then why did you lie to me?

I go here, I go there

I look for it everywhere

you’re the one who always gave me peace

what do I do, when you only take it away?

I’m hurting, but I do not say

I’m crying but I do not let the tears drop

I’m holding out my hand to you

But you don’t hold it

is this death?

the death of love?

the triumph of life over everything celestial

then this life without love means nothing to me

this love without longing seems empty to me

and this relationship without trust rings hollow

the earthquake’s epicenter was my everything dear

the foundations and bricks stay scattered around

what do I do with the ruble?

let it be or make house elsewhere?

I try to clean the mess

every tiny bit seems impossible to even pick up

a little speck weighs me down

and I can’t move

I drop it

I let it be

I enter the castle of rubles

strutting my stuff

and wearing my hero cape I sleep

undreaming

undreaming

undreaming

this never happened

it’s all in my head.

Foundation’s strong?

One more blow and I’ll break

There will be nothing of me

To speak or die or live

I donno what dreams to see

I donno where to go with you

I donno what to do

I donno what to repair

Do I know anything at all?

Just a false sense of knowing

Resurrections are for gods

We’re mere mortals

Innocence is lost when we grow up

How do we return to it again?

I like the way you say things

It makes my heart flutter

But I’m afraid

Very afraid

I do not know what to think

I see the beauty

I see the love

I see the rainbow

I see the sunshine

But then the clouds come over

And scare me

It’s dark and dirty and slimy

Will these nightmares ever go?

Will these promises be forever?

I always listen to my heart

And my head scolds ‘I told you so”

Creative, Imaginative Little People

27th July 2018 

Things, which help in creativity and imagination, are simple things. Things which modern parenting obsessed with growth monitoring of kids’ brains and constant pegging in the genius spectrum leaves little scope for.  For those who are still curious, let me spell them out in two points:

1.     Let Be: Let them get bored. Let them play with simple everyday objects in an undefined way. Do not interrupt. Do not correct or give instruction. Let them discover, invent and fill up their own space in their own way!

2.     Let Do: Everyday tasks. Special tasks. All tasks. So what if they fail? Encourage them to try again. Do not reprimand. In dropping things, in putting them apart and in testing our patience, kids conduct science experiments. Let’s give science, discovery and innovation a chance! Otherwise we’ll fail to give children independence, self-confidence, and formation of their own minds.

Everyday decisions like reading vs. screen, outdoors vs. malls, telling vs. asking, and scolding vs. reasoning go a long way in shaping the little minds. Of course, as adults some reactions come naturally to us. But let’s remember at that juncture that they are little, but fully formed humans. In fact, at this very moment, their brain growth is exponential (80% till age 3, 90% till age 6): meaning they take in 30 times more of the environment than what we can even fathom at a point in time. Sponges!

Let’s pledge to give the little humans the respect they deserve and all the makings of a safe nurture space where we can let them be and let them do.

#metoo

13th June 2018

Listen everyone

All the metoos

And the spectators

And the monsters

What’s the fucking solution?

I hear these whispers around

In hushed tones

Within bands of sealed confidences

the lines crossed

and the gaze that lingered still

there was a protest

cries of defiance

but no shame, not even a hint – the gaze lingers

the father who shuns his son’s bride

the uncle whose daughter is now his niece’s age

we’re watching, we know

but still we serve the tea

and share the joke

he’s a family man

he bullied and tried to hump a minor

he’s an affectionate man

his hand went up his son’s girlfriend top

he’s the life of a party

he flashed his dick to a five year old

they whispered

they cried

they were hushed

they were shushed

and when they asked why?

You asked for it

You’re a whore

One can’t clap with a single hand

Shut up, you’ll be the one shamed

She was five, he was fifteen

She asked for it

She was 10, he was 25

She asked for it

She was 25, he was 50

She asked for it

They grew up

Holding dear their dried tears safe within their own hearts

Their mothers made tea for the monsters

Served it with their favourite snacks

They were made to bow down in respect

To the same men who showed them disrespect

They heard their praises

Tolerated their presence

Cringing within

Every time

Whose the victim?

Whose the monster?

Where’s the verdict?

The victims committed the crime

The monsters were framed

Hey Darling (the tenth wedding anniversary)

12th April 2018

Hey Darling, My Darling

My love for you

Hey Darling, My Darling

This love’s only for you

I claim you through lives

I snatch you from the heavens

I shed layers and layers

And come quickly so

I shed my clothes

I shed my body

I shed my consciousness

And run intoxicated to you

Every naked bit

Needs to feel you

All at once

Every bit inside

Every bit outside

Needs to burn with your touch

All at once

Every bit of unconsciousness

Becomes you

Every bit of you

Becomes mine

Together we hold

Together we release
Together we fly

Float up high

And hit the ground hard

But merge deeper within