Showing posts with label complete. Show all posts
Showing posts with label complete. Show all posts

Rumi, the greatest love of my life


30th May 2016

It was exactly a year ago, when I’d gone to Kirtika’s place and held you in my arms. You were the size of my palm and just like that, then and there you belonged in my heart.



A year later, I can’t even imagine life without you. In fact I survived the year coz of you, and just you.

I remember I held you close to my heart on the drive back home and you whined for your mom, all the way. And then, just like that I become your mom.


People think, I’m a mom to Naina-Kanishk. Giving birth gave me mommyhood. But I know and you know that you’re my first and will always be.  It was you I held nights in my arms as I slept on the floor, thinking you’d fall from the bed. It was you I’d swaddle in my chunnis and put to sleep on a bean bag turned cradle with soft  toys and chewies.  It was you who I first rocked to sleep in my lap with lullabyes. It was for you I’d stayed up all night crying when you got hurt for the first time. All this much much before my twins. In fact I think you brought me the luck as I only tested positive 2 weeks after you came into my home.

So remember, I’m your Mumma first and foremost.



To all those who think that having a dog could be dangerous around my children:

I just wanna tell you that besides the point that Rumi is my child herself, I don’t think Naina-Kanishk would have been there, if not for her.


Firstly, she got me the luck and the mother hormones, which preceded the coming of the twins.

Secondly, she was the sole person in charge of keeping me happy throughout a very difficult pregnancy. I owed my mental health and stability to her. Not to mention that she curled up protectively near my tummy to warm my babies.

Thirdly, and the most FINAL point: I’d any day trust Rumi over any person around my babies – coz dogs are more predictable animals than human beings. Plus Rumi’s life is all about unconditional love and my babies are a part of her pack. She’ll do anything to protect them, in fact.



A silly little in-promptu song for my silly little Rumi. It goes like ‘Bingo’  coz we’ve been clapping a lot to that lately.

There was a mumma
Who had a dog and Rumi was her name-o
R-U-M-I
R-U-M-I
R-U-M-I
And Rumi was her name-o

With a curious nose
And an antennae tail
A skip was in her walk-o
Velvety ears
So soft to touch
Alma was her food-o

L-O-V-E
L-O-V-E
L-O-V-E
You so much I love-o

Papaya, pototo, paneer and eggs
Choostix, biscuits, bones-o
Carrots, cucumber, peanut, gram
All eaten still she’s hungry – o

Always – Hungry – Rumi – Dear
Always – Hungry – Rumi – Dear
Always – Hungry – Rumi – Dear
Why so hungry Rumi – o?

With beagle friends and human friends
You’re so friendly Rumi-o
With a shiny coat and a pretty face
You’re the prettiest pretty we-know

Amber – Socks – Zappa and Fifi
Zoey – Bubli – Zairo and Churan
Zazu – Flash – Dylan and Pebble
Are some of your friends – o

There was a mumma
Who had a dog and Rumi was her name-o
R-U-M-I
R-U-M-I
R-U-M-I
And Rumi was her name-o


Love you my li'l rums, gujariya, pan-chaaali, rumbu-sumbu, poopy, dobby, chhotu, zumbaroo, hingospa and everything else and more we've called you out of 'machmacheee'.

McCleodganj

May '2013

Looking for myself in the hills
in little cafes, colourful bazaars
and in the wind that tousled my hair.

Found a glimpse in the prayer wheels
a little reflection in the topaze of a pendant.

The prayer flags fluttered in the wind
told me I was everywhere that I smiled.

Really!
how to be complete?
  maybe I'll never be complete..
  maybe we'll never be complete..
    it's a loss we'll just have to bear..
how to bear the loss?
   it's too much a burden..
   we have to let it drop..
But how?

the last jigsaw piece


19th May '11

u know I love you..
somehow the love gets lost..
and all you hear are the words..

I want to tell you
hold me
hold me real close...
somehow you hear the opposite
and push me away

I want to tell you
it hurts
i'm scared
but all I do is lash out in anger...
at having to tell you...
and you not understanding
on your own
by your own sense of me

I'm not half the person I used to be
there's just some fragments of me remaining here and there
which somehow sometimes adhocly come together...
and I exist... as a fragmentary-multiperson, whose never complete
who begins but never finishes, or finishes but never begins...
it's like
you can see me
but I'm not there

it takes an effort to be whole again

in crowds, it's easy
to fit in, to stand out, to talk, to laugh, to sing, to dance, or just be grumpy..
but what do you do, when there's no audience?
when you're just alone, with yourself, and then sometimes with the one who's home..

do you become your own audience?

how can logic always work?
how can the right way be the same right way for all?
how can one fit the wrong piece in the right jigsaw?
what if the missing piece never existed?

Fragmentary

6th January '11

A shadow that haunts me
sometimes just bursts into fragments of light.
If I'm not too careful, I might just be up in flames.

It lingers when I'm having a happy dream
with visions, with doubts that I could be happier still.
It's almost forbidden,
yet it finds its place exactly where it's to be not.

It's just a reflection, the real's far far away.
Still? So much power? So much attraction?
And that too in an abstract?
A smoke like thing which appears from nowhere
and then also dissolves into nothingness?

It's an incomplete thing.
It could be anything.
It's a thing ahead of itself
which just couldn't finish.
It's a shadow of an unfinished thing
which I hope to capture in poetry, in the least.