An Everyday

17th December '09

But the candle light was green. Where did the yellow hide?
The wine was was turning blue?

It was in another place, another time just another dimension altogether. Her's was blue, and his was yellow. And when their slavers collided, it was green all over. Her long locks were the bedcovers and his caresses were electric. Who were they?

The clouds screened the sunlight, just let the violet in. The stars led a mutiny, to the dark they marched.

It was on earth that a bud bloomed. It was from a desk an ink-pen rolled and spilled royal blue ink on white marbled floor. It was for me that a wind blew and carried news from far-far-away.

Suddenly, on a travel

21st Nov '09

In a moment of understanding
of someone else's grief...
Without knowledge, almost instantly
you take it upon yourself...
And then tears roll down
the pain is yours...
Still auto reflecting you
try to throw the pain away
as if it's untouchable
But it's been touched
you can't deny it...
So you just sit and pray
that Lord gives you the strength
and keeps your loved ones safe...
' Please don't let my fears shadow them!'

The Time Concept

3rd October '09

It’s time.

Time it is.

What’s the time?

IT’s Time!

I saw myself running and running to find some time. And I really never got it as such. The planned, the scheduled always got upset and just when I was about to clutch it and feel it and enjoy it. It escaped. Tired I stopped looking aggressively for it. And then when the search ceased, it came to me.

I never get the concept of time. I’m punctual alright, most if the times ‘on dot’ or before (much to the trouble of others). But by concept of time I mean: past, present and future. It’s weird. Like the time machine. Just because I can travel in time, I’ll never be where I should be. Keep shuttling to and fro. So the reactions of the future, happen in the present- me having pre- sensed it. And the pains of the past bleed much later. Weird, but it happens all the time.

It’s time.

Time it is.

What’s the time?

IT’s Time!

Unclosed Chapters

17th September '09

Unclosed chapters remain.

You don’t even know that they exist. And then one day, suddenly while you’re walking down the road or while you’re in the shower they’ll enter your mind with a flash. Detailed pictures, concrete words and you’d be catapulted back in time. The feelings shall gush. You’d be vulnerable yet not really threatened, but threatened, still.

How to shut the door on these figments of mind? How to be prepared for a sudden sneak in? How to close the chapters when removed from their space, time and people?

15th Sep '09

Are we aware of the Rights we have??
And if we were. Would that make any difference?
to us. or to others.

On road again, am I..
Walking, warming, wandering..
It's foggy
It's misty
The magic remains..
On road again, am I..


15th September '09

2 months and a day..
I'm back..


23rd July '09

Stretched out my hand
  out of the window
    to grasp a handful of sky.
And it poured.
Right then
  onto my palm.

Something's missing
Can't find it..

Have been looking awhile now..
Looked into the past,
Peered through the present,
And stared right past the deep oblivion.

Something's missing
Can't find it..

To disturb a deep slumber.
To expect liveliness.
To show you're alive
To look for passion.
To shake.
To inflame.
     To disturb a deep slumber.
When one sleeps while you write.

I'm on a journey to sanity.
Please call me back.
Cause you know..
    I know..
        We all know..
Once I reach
I'm never coming back.

Circumstance vs Me

14th July '09

I donno if it's the circumstance...or it's me...
I donno if it's the way stuff is...or it's what I make of it..

suddenly, I don't sometimes like the stuff I say, or do...
It's like I don't like what I'm becoming..
regret stuff, the moment it's done...

Maybe the justification holds true...
and maybe it is the circumstance...

and again...
I donno if it's the circumstance...or it's me...
I donno if it's the way stuff is...or it's what I make of it..
suddenly, I don't sometimes like me...

Samundar poppies ka

25th June ‘09
Poppies ke samundar mein
My heart goes sha la la la
Head goes bobbing, drugged
Majh dhara mei hai bera mera
Kripa kara asrai hai tera

p.s.- Mr. A Ghosh weaves magic yet again. smiles.

26 years later

18th June’09

Tipsy movements and a steady hand

Writes introspection of a jumbled mind

Not so jumbled, a li’l suave.

Knows the destination, has lost the way.

In the moment, get weird pangs.

Skies the limit, loves the smell of ground.

Has wings, lost the realization somehow.

Loves thy god, is unsure about self.

Lost somewhere…

She sits under a white square with a three armed rotating metal hanging down the middle, slightly elevated by a wooden structure, which humans call bed and wonders. Is this where she, a female of the human form of Indian origin is destined to be where she is, exactly?

growing up

11th June '09

6 days.

I’ll be two and six.


Still don’t feel lady enough. Still am more of a girl than a woman. In some ways, still a guy. But I’ve come a long way since last year.

Am ok with this year’s progress

God job, Shreeja!


Small World

8th June '09
Come forward my darling
Take another step
Just another step
We're almost there
To the world which begins and ends in our tent
We call, Oh yeah! we're there..
It's a small world
And the universe climaxes in its grasp
It's a small world
And two souls fill it up

4th June ‘09

Drop by Drop
Drip by Drip
It Drifts
Pull it along
A circle upon another
More circles upon each other
It goes on and on
It Drfits
Drip by Drip
Drop by Drop

LIFE love
High on love
Spirit’s dwindle
Life’s but a memory bundle
Stacked and stacked
Rolled and tied
Pull out the dirty ones
They rot
They stink

The eyes refuse to open
To see the written words
In a blink the world went dark……
Shocked open
The dropping petals
Watch the dream unopen
In disbelief

What drives the melancholy
Whenever the ink flows
It isn’t such a strain
Still this is what it shows…
Extreme was I
Still extreme but moderated
The ecstasy of the poles
Somewhere lost in the tropics

Zig-zag trails
The paths wind
What’s there on the other end
I cannot fathom….
Light, I hope
Light, it is
Light of hope
It is, It is

The pain slowly sets in
The fever begins to tremble
It’s not what you think it is
It’s what you may imagine not
Not food, not thought, not lifestyle
It’s the words, the poetry
It’s in the mind.

5th May ‘09


 a storm brews

it’s a lonely night

the sheets crumple

the folds uneven

lies about, tossing, turning

the storm is there

it rains.


a bud flowered today

a friend found love

the skies cleared

rainbow peeped

birds chirped unto twilight

a dear friend found love

vows. trust. friendship.

respect. understanding. love.

my darling, my friend found love.


Sailing in the ship  with my mate

We stopped ashore

Dropped anchors

Stopped the flow

Let’s start again my mate

Let’s face the storms again

My mate, My mate,

Where art thou?



This one guy in my life

This very one guy

Just this one, very one guy

What has he done to me?

Not a minute’s rest without him

Not a minute of peace

Not a moment of home can I taste

This one guy- my home, where’s he?



Let’s set up a home my darling

A home just for us

A home where kisses blow in the air

A home with lotsa love

Where hugs reside in corners

And craziness jingles all over


Ropes tied tight

Don’t pull

It hurts

The marks are red

It burns

Throw icy water over it

Please make it heal

Why the ropes at all?

These are hands, not wings!



Can’t sleep this night my darling!

Can’t sleep alone.

This bed stares at me empty, my darling!

I feel alone.



take me home!

24th Feb '09

Bitter taste gripping your tongue

A gruesome tale spins

Shivering fingers stuck in holes

A scarlet river flows

Heating cold lashing at your eye

A sight become a blurry


A sight become a blurry

Take me home

Plotting Escape

13th Feb '09

Let’s go for a walk

Let’s go for a swim

Let’s just go

Let’s escape

Let’s go for coffee

Let’s go shopping

Let’s but go

Let’s go

Let’s just escape


Escape these gravity-like pull down-thoughts

Escape this hour, this minute, this time

Escape this mood, this expression

Escape this conversation, this thing


Let’s runaway and hide under the stars

Maybe get lost and forget where we are

Just not know which timeline we belong to

Escape we must.



11th Feb '09

Just walking around the world
I felt so lost
Just thinking aloud in my mind
I knew I had no thoughts
Cause of this Silence
which is there
this Silence
which screams
this Silence
not so peaceful, anymore

today: motto

4th Feb '09

I’m going to stop fretting about tomorrow

And I’ll live today for today


I’m going to stop being hard on myself for the past

And would just ask questions for today


I’m going to zoom in and lose the large picture

And stay on to a particular spot


I’m going to be high no matter what I drink

And get others merry too


That’s the motto

For today.

eemoushunal atyaaachaar

28th Jan '09

Sometimes, for no reason at all things seem so weird. I know weird is a random word, but as I’ve already establishes many times before, it’s the perfect abstract expression for me.


Maybe I’m one of those depressive writers, coz 75% of the time I write, depressive-melancholy shit comes out, irrespective of my mood. I’ll not work on it; I’d just leave some things to just turn out the way they want to churn out.


Deep Dive

22nd Jan '09

Lemme delve within myself…

Lemme dive down, deep within…


And all I clasp in my palm is that what holds me within..

And all I lock in my heart is that what locks me in tangles


And as I rise to the surface again

The images, the glittering blue, the reflections in the water confuse me..

I’m you and you are me and then it’s we

Intertwined we’re rising in spirals


To the surface we surface,

Soaked in depth


MIndless Bents

20th Jan '09

It's not the pen
It's the thought
It's not the booty
It's the dignity 
My Darling

How we keep moving through the minutes, the days, the weeks
And suddenly it's been a year..

All that affected you, caught your thoughts, plagued your mind
Came, said hello, had a cup of tea and went away..

And I'd say, the rendezvous wasn't that bad..
If was bad, wtf it passed.
If didn't, would.
again. wtf.

It's all that we'll have in the end.
You would have me.
I'd have you.
And most importantly, we'll have each of ourselves to ourself.

What would matter to me..
is that my heart is clean, without pain or regret or guilt...
is that my mind is without debate, coz I did not bend...
is that my soul is my soul, not sold.

Reality continues to ruin my life

13th January ’09          


Reality continues to ruin my life

-  Calvin & Hobbes


Yeah. Bring it on Reality. I’ll see what you have. Every spot, I do not like, I’ll paint over with my dreams, brand new colours and design.Do you realize, you are but a perception. And the moment I change perception, I change you. I change the reality.

HaHaHaHaHaHaHa…..evil squeals of laughter like delight

phasing in. phasing out.

7th January ‘09


Yes it’s a new year!

But somehow the newness didn’t quite like dawn on me. Probably cause the chronological partitioning abhors me. However, dates haven’t quite in particular managed to stop making their marks on me.


No resolution. No definite resolution.

Just that I’ll try and invest more time in myself. Basically balance the four aspects of life, namely: Work, Community, Family and Self. I guess I’ll have to learn how to say NO, which is kinda li’l difficult for me.


Indecisiveness to Decisiveness

Decision-making is stressful for me, inherently. Or maybe was. Coz ’08 was the year in which I made a lot of decisions, for myself. Small- li’l ones, major-life changing ones. Learned to flow…..


The year gone by: ’08. Was one of change. Perpetual change reflected in all aspects. But the most notable change is within my mind. Though still, I fully and completely don’t know what I want, or where I am. But I’m getting there. And to that place the travel this year was notable. So thank you ’08, for making me more me, and helping me know me.


’09 you have quite a year to succeed!