Mind: Magic. Focus Health. Tick. Body: Kathak Practice. Tick. Workout ABT. Tick. Soul: Meditation. Tick. It's beyond day 4 now, but can't sleep. Big Busy Plans for the weekend. Simple Plans. Logical. But seems looming to me. Fingers crossed. Nerves on hold.
It seems like it must be my fault.
Cause I'm letting things/people get to me!
I can't hold my own,
Would someone else in my space fared any better?
I would think, 'yes'.
I know the answers.
I know the ways.
I know what's to be done.
But just can't do it.
Oh Calcutta! Oh Calcutta! well the first verse I wrote ever, was for you..
I wish coming back wasn't so complicated
I wish we all came in peace and went in peace
I wish you gave me a chance to be right again
I wish the odds, the chances were fair I wish I could match my childhood memories
I wish could make my kids see
I wish I could be carefree with free wishes, one more time.
Like it was, a while ago.
in some places your heart resides.. then why this Kolaveri D?
I thought there would be fireworks! There were none.
I thought I'd be dancing by the end of the day and joy would be me. It wasn't.
Atleast I said hello to 'Reality'. Whoa. That's big. Given my life mantra happens to be (like Calvin) - "Reality continues to Ruin my life."
I did my Kathak. I did my day 'one' magic task. I did my meditation.
body. mind. soul.
all in day's work.
They tell you it's normal. All moms cry. So I think it must be normal.
I thought I cried a bit too much. But then I had twins!
I thought I could handle it.
It seems I haven't been able to. Atleast not effectively.
It has a name.
Shhh....It's a taboo. No one can know.
Know how many mothers suffer some form of Postpartum Depression?
1 of 5 mothers. And it's 4 out of 5 mothers of multiples (includes mother of twins, that's me).
Know how many people trolled me for feeling low?
9 out of 10 (or more) But, at this point in time I don't a give a shit!
The truth is I feel like shit. But at this point in time I own every bit of shit that I am.
It's me. And mine.
OKAY. That was intense.
Focus. Focus. Focus. Again.
What's different today is that I'm ready to launch an expedition to get back to myself. I don't know whether I'll succeed or not. I'll just put every bit of me into this.
For the Mind:
1. Magic 28 day experiment
2. Weekly appointments to figure out my triggers and understand myself better
3. Blog. Write. Write. Blog.
4. Dabble: books, cinema, music
For the Body:
1. Atleast one physical activity per day
2. Nutrition (this is gonna be a tough nut, but I'm gonna crack it) For the Soul:
1. Meditate atleast 10 minutes everyday
2. Communicate (conversation, writing) with my soul friends
3. Conversations with my soul - poetry, art, dance
And the last but not the least cross-category thingie: Hold my partner and three kids, extraordinarily close. In other words "squeeze them".