Euthanasia

28th Feb'13

pull out the hair

pull pull pull

till it comes all out

pull it hard

so it pulls the nerves

let the nerves in the head

be pulled out straignt

straight out of the nervous entangled

pulled out of the complicated

pull out in a strand

out of the knotted system

pull out nerves

that give blood to the grey

numb it

just pull the plug

let it be

brain dead

Burning Hope

June '12

texture, ink, acrylic

pen

sand, texture, ink (incomplete piece)

sand, ink, heat with collage

ink, oil colours

Excerpts from the lash

10th June '12



My heart is missing
and I cannot breathe
I'm living, not dead yet.
why me? why you? why us?
I ask myself, you and the darkness
no answers yet. no light yet.
I'm zigzagging through the world, the tasks
while I'm shattering into pieces.
I'm trying to hold myself together
but the pieces are lost.
I wonder again. Am I sure? Could this be me? Alive.
I pinch myself, I bite myself, I feel it.
I must be living.
Then how come I feel like dead?


sunshine
morning sunshine
happy sunshine
sunshine showers
sunshine yellow
rainbow sunshine
lovely sunshine
lifegiving sunshine
too much sunshine
warm sunshine
sunshine, too hot
I'm burning sunshine
ashes full of sunshine


Something is moving inside me.
Something, Someone is there
Otherwise how could I have handled it till now?
Something is alive, which is helping me function,
Write, do things, talk.
'Hello, Something Someone inside me
Please take over, completely
I can't carry on
Please.'

Before dawn ramblings

7th January '11

coming back
is desired
coming back
isn't easy
coming back
pains.

I write to you in verse
situation of my heart
which has a lot of love to give
but, there's a but in between.

Memories they play these games
take you back, again and again.
a simple day, some hours,
some conversations, some exploration..
a friendship we embarked
but we never saw where we really arrived
before parting.