In a moment of peace

12th June 2016

One is sleeping

            oblivious to the world

            hands spread out, palms open

            receiving the knowledge of the ancient masters

            understanding the world

            in deep meditation

            in sleep meditation

            digesting the day, today.

Two looked here

            smiled at me

and then looked away

she’s listen to music

Indian classical ragas

having a conversation with the ustads

aa aa aa aaa aaaa…

was that an alap?

Three put her paw on the pad

            she’s asking me,  “what are you doing?

            what could be more important than looking into my pretty pretty eyes?”

            the vain one

she knows

            she’s the prettiest beagle in town

            the lively one with the wagging tail

            she knows

            Mumma loves Best!

McCleodganj

May '2013

Looking for myself in the hills
in little cafes, colourful bazaars
and in the wind that tousled my hair.

Found a glimpse in the prayer wheels
a little reflection in the topaze of a pendant.

The prayer flags fluttered in the wind
told me I was everywhere that I smiled.

Really!
how to be complete?
  maybe I'll never be complete..
  maybe we'll never be complete..
    it's a loss we'll just have to bear..
how to bear the loss?
   it's too much a burden..
   we have to let it drop..
But how?

Look at u

Look back at u.
Look shut-eye at u.
Look faith at u.
Look before at u.
Look after at u.
Look now at u.
Look not-look at u.
Look is all at u.

Sense and Sensitivity

8th October '11

Loss
Deep loss
Mourning
Bellowing mourning

Mirth died today
With it the youthful joy

Do you belief in rebirth?

--

Oh so the mourning is for a death
That happened a while ago?

So what's with today?

Why is today cast in gloom
Of a shadow which hovered a while ago?

Did u not see then?
Did u not hear then?
Where were you then?

--

These seas of silence
This silent despair
I cannot take anymore

These few words
So heavy with darker meaning
This dreamless night
So cloudy with thoughts
I cannot take anymore

These trembles, So delirious with loneliness
This me, So brimming
I cannot take anymore

the last jigsaw piece

19th May '11

u know I love you..

somehow the love gets lost..

and all you hear are the words..

I want to tell you

hold me

hold me real close...

somehow you hear the opposite

and push me away

I want to tell you

it hurts

i'm scared

but all I do is lash out in anger...

at having to tell you...

and you not understanding

on your own

by your own sense of me

I'm not half the person I used to be

there's just some fragments of me remaining here and there

which somehow sometimes adhocly come together...

and I exist... as a fragmentary-multiperson, whose never complete

who begins but never finishes, or finishes but never begins...

it's like

you can see me

but I'm not there

it takes an effort to be whole again

in crowds, it's easy

to fit in, to stand out, to talk, to laugh, to sing, to dance, or just be grumpy..

but what do you do, when there's no audience?

when you're just alone, with yourself, and then sometimes with the one who's home..

do you become your own audience?

how can logic always work?

how can the right way be the same right way for all?

how can one fit the wrong piece in the right jigsaw?

what if the missing piece never existed?