The Calling

December '2014

I sat on the beach with my legs sunk in sand and chin on my knees
wearing a veil of hair
having a conversation with the ocean.
He was luring me, teasing me, inviting me.
He was succeeding.
He made me want to walk into his arms,
just right into him,
deeper and deeper still.

I didn't care if I couldn't breathe.
I didn't care if I would drown.
I didn't care at all.
Who listens to their heads when their hearts ruled?

It wasn't the first time.
He had come knocking onto my window with rain,
had played with my hair and driven me mad.

He left messages everywhere.
In small glass bottles with cork heads
he'd sent me love spells
sometimes as sand, sometimes as salt candies and sometimes even poetry.

The voodoo worked.
With white champas adorning my hair
I danced slowly into him
and he welcomed me with a roar and wave.

I got wet...                                                
                  ...never to dry again. 

Reflection

June '12

dry pastels, ink

oil

texture, oil, ink

ink, glass colours

Maybe

12th August '12

Walking slowly and carefully, I missed a lot of stones.

Maybe I should have overturned them.

Singing loudly and dancing vociferously the dance of life, I turned deaf to my inner voice.

Maybe I should have turned the volume down.

Trying to get the work done, organized and scheduled, I forgot the whole point.

Maybe I should have aligned myself to the purpose first.

These maybes,

These thoughts,

I need to shelf again today.

Maybe I shouldn’t!

in passing

11^th August ‘11

Out of sight. Out of mind.

Does this hold true? Maybe to a certain degree. But that necessarily doesn’t mean that the subject is not tucked somewhere in some very fond corner of the heart, to come up to the mind aimlessly, like a song from an oblivious, infinite playlist in shuffle mode.

I really don’t truly believe in the randomness of the shuffle mode. I think there’s a definite pattern there, somewhere. Probably again, known to the higher mind, the great strategist or the omnipresent. I can sometimes guess the complicated flowchart of the pattern, but don’t know a way of validating my doubts. Do the psychology experts know?

Life emanating of me

Images springing and dancing and jumping off a cliff

A face leaving the trail of its thought behind

Lazy working days full of restless ideas

Commute amidst many, through several modes.

a drive, a tube, an escalator, a tunnel,

a rickshaw, a meter,  a subway, a walk,

a bus, a conductor, a  stop, some stairs..

a journey, an exchange, some time,

just a wee bit of life. 

the last jigsaw piece

19th May '11

u know I love you..

somehow the love gets lost..

and all you hear are the words..

I want to tell you

hold me

hold me real close...

somehow you hear the opposite

and push me away

I want to tell you

it hurts

i'm scared

but all I do is lash out in anger...

at having to tell you...

and you not understanding

on your own

by your own sense of me

I'm not half the person I used to be

there's just some fragments of me remaining here and there

which somehow sometimes adhocly come together...

and I exist... as a fragmentary-multiperson, whose never complete

who begins but never finishes, or finishes but never begins...

it's like

you can see me

but I'm not there

it takes an effort to be whole again

in crowds, it's easy

to fit in, to stand out, to talk, to laugh, to sing, to dance, or just be grumpy..

but what do you do, when there's no audience?

when you're just alone, with yourself, and then sometimes with the one who's home..

do you become your own audience?

how can logic always work?

how can the right way be the same right way for all?

how can one fit the wrong piece in the right jigsaw?

what if the missing piece never existed?

Morrow’s song

15^th sept ‘10

I wanna kiss the darkness

I wanna live the dream

The circles round and round , around the eyes

They deepen

The scars at the joint, they bleed, they dry, the scars

They never heal

I wanna kiss the darkness

I wanna live the dream

You kiss, you love, you plead, you say sorry

You walk, you run, you rush, you come back again

You live, you die, you live, you die, you sleep

You wake up again

It’s the same sunshine

It’s the same rain

It’s the same feeling

It’s the same damn emotion

I wanna kiss the darkness

I wanna live the dream

You look, you search, you find, you assure

You know you’ve found it

The answer to the dark, to the shadows, to the loneliness

You smile, you jump, you dance,

You found your soul again

But some day you find yourself wandering on a highway

Trees and flowers and fence on the left side

You walk with a backpack up the road

Wondering which way is the camp?

I wanna kiss the darkness

I wanna live the dream