Maybe

12th August '12

Walking slowly and carefully, I missed a lot of stones.

Maybe I should have overturned them.

Singing loudly and dancing vociferously the dance of life, I turned deaf to my inner voice.

Maybe I should have turned the volume down.

Trying to get the work done, organized and scheduled, I forgot the whole point.

Maybe I should have aligned myself to the purpose first.

These maybes,

These thoughts,

I need to shelf again today.

Maybe I shouldn’t!

the last jigsaw piece

19th May '11

u know I love you..

somehow the love gets lost..

and all you hear are the words..

I want to tell you

hold me

hold me real close...

somehow you hear the opposite

and push me away

I want to tell you

it hurts

i'm scared

but all I do is lash out in anger...

at having to tell you...

and you not understanding

on your own

by your own sense of me

I'm not half the person I used to be

there's just some fragments of me remaining here and there

which somehow sometimes adhocly come together...

and I exist... as a fragmentary-multiperson, whose never complete

who begins but never finishes, or finishes but never begins...

it's like

you can see me

but I'm not there

it takes an effort to be whole again

in crowds, it's easy

to fit in, to stand out, to talk, to laugh, to sing, to dance, or just be grumpy..

but what do you do, when there's no audience?

when you're just alone, with yourself, and then sometimes with the one who's home..

do you become your own audience?

how can logic always work?

how can the right way be the same right way for all?

how can one fit the wrong piece in the right jigsaw?

what if the missing piece never existed?