Zwoik

29th May '06
love comes foward and nestles in my arms..
hugs me tight..and twists me right..
no room to breathe I say....
ahoy..who wants to live..
I wanna die now..
die this very moment..
in the arms of love..

love serenades...
love moments...
love thoughts...
love all around..
but love here is deep deep inside..
throbbing.
throbbing so hard..
throbbing so-so-so hard........with pain...

gone are the memories...
gone are the future dreams...
this moment..now..here is all i wanna feel...
alas...so delirious...
it makes me dizzy..
dizzy and tipsy..
and i go blank...
go ZWOIK..
feelingless..
a zombie...now lives in her world of zwoikness....

CONSPIRER

8th May 2006

Sometimes from the deepest fears...
...Rises the utmost strength one has...
Sometimes from the darkest corners..
...Comes alive the most brightest fantasies...
Sometimes when these sometimes happen..
...One ceases and stops...and wonders...

What is it, which reigns supreme??
Who is it tht decides?
..............When, where, what, who, whom, how?

Someone must be there..
Someone who knows it all..
Someone whom we don't know...
..But a someone who knows us just too well.

Someone who knows the answers to the unanswered questions..
Someone who'll tell us exactly which belief is true...
Someone planning the whole conspiracy..
Someone who knows why the unreasonable things happen...

Go up...go down...go right...go left...
Is he everywhere??
Can he follow me to almost everywhere??
If he's there for everyone.. then why is he wasting time on me??
"Why?", I ask him... and the omnipresent smiles...
"Ok...so tell me the reasons for me atleast"...
...And knowing the answers he still doesn't say...
"Ok say something...something for keeps sake.."
..And through the silence I hear...
"LIVE IT....knowing too much would spoil the fun..."

Externalities............

27th April '06

It is the externals..
Yes, the bloody externals...
Yes, the same damn bloody externals
which come in whenever into our lives..
seep in from the strongest corners..
and then sweep us off our feets, unaware.......
In their custody,
In their presence,
With their "we-know-the-right-way"-STANCE..
the internals get lost..
amidst doubts, rights and wrongs...
amidst logistics and logic...
amidst love.....
Vulnerability in the air..
the emotions feelings sob silently..
and life becomes dual..
And a new face..
-the true face..
-the only face..
.
...
.....
"My mask and me.....in a world of externals....seek the true internal"

In and Out

27th April '06

You were my shadow,
and I was your reflection..I believed it to be so...
But the visions are not the same
and what we imagine may not be true..
Contingencies.... are true...
and the impossibilities do happen..
The beliefs turn sour
and throw up on your faces
And through the looking glass
the impressions changed...
a cracked mirror...
a distorted face.

Huge walls all around
made of stone,
plus there's suffocating silence...
a few scimpers here and there..
but it's just me, all by myself..
no one is here......

A crack again through the baricades...
a stream of light flows in...
a finger holds itself out..
wants me to hold on...
to come out..
and I toy..........................

I held on yet again...
came out, too fast - it may say..
I'm me, the old me yet again
or close to it, if i may say..
But carrying the darkness in me..
the fear of "YET AGAIN" doesn't let it go