Li'l Scribbles: 2013

let’s fly back home

30th December '13

let’s fly back home, it’s been a while

there’s dust on the frames

there’s dust on the sill

there’s a thick layer lying still

let me get the rags…………

let’s fly back home, it’s been a while

the bed is soft and crinkly too

just the way I like

the window opens to the branches green

the sounds, the chirps await

the swing is empty so I’ll get the book

and a cuppa to warm…….

let’s fly back home, it’s been a while

mixed feelings flood as I fly back home

there’s doom, there’s love, there’s happiness

mixed thoughts are muddled in the head

joy, fatigue and “I dunnos”

let’s fly back home, it’s been a while

let’s fly back home

But atleast

20th December '13

When everything’s crumbling and you have no control

Go to sleep

When everything’s a disarray and it keeps getting worse

Go to sleep

When all is wrong and what’s right is a blur

Go to sleep

When you awaken from the nightmares it really won’t be better

But atleast you’d have gotten some sleep.

When all’s a mess and mess is all you see

Just live

When drudgery, the life and life, the drudgery seem unending

Just live

When love’s there and there’s love but you just can’t feel it

Just live

When you’ve been living along everyday one by one it really won’t be better

But atleast you’d have lived some more.

At the speed of 7 km per hour

22nd November '13

On the treadmill

I’m running

I’m exhausted

I’m tired

I have no strength

I’m drained

Can’t stop

Can’t breathe

Can’t rest

Can’t live

There’s too much to do

And there’s no time

There’s a lot more running

And there’s no time

Can someone show me how to pull the plug please?

Memories

Never, you’ve never been away from me!

Your thought

Suddenly floods my mind

Like clouds, like sunrays, like moonshine.

It doesn’t just sadden me

It fills me up also with joy,

Exuberant joy –

Like the gurgling of a flowing river

Like the warmth around the fireplace in winter

Like the comfort of a soft shawl wrapped snuggly around

Like the fragrance of magnolias

Like the velvety feel of pansies

In these ways,

And in so many other ways

Your thought brings you closer to me.

In laughter

In the creases of my dress

In loving endearments

In the echo of my words,

You hide,

Then suddenly emerge

And become one with me

Like salt in water.

Never, you’ve never been far –

Have you?

In loving memory of 'nanima' who would have turned 90 today

(Translation of the poem ‘Smriti’ by Kumidini Khaitan on 24^th October ’13 by Keshav & Shreeja )

7th October '13

yellow sipper mugs
and orange ink
thoughts that trail in meetings
the silent bell for lunch rings

funny faces and looks across the room
listening, but I'm still not here
here, but I'm not listening still

' agree, Calvin
reality continues to ruin my life too

Auto pilot

Let there be soundlessness
Let there be silence of the pin drop kind
Let there be spaces filled with vacuum
Let there be a single white cloud hanging without rain on the horizon.

Conversations stuck in people's throat
Concentration on mindless games & chores
Covering every bit of time people have
Not even a gap, a slit, a crack
There's a lot on the autopilot's plate.

Li'l red package

13 Aug '13

Chugging journey
Leaves behind smoke in a trail of small grey clouds
All aboard but my li'l red package left behind.

Oh my package
My li'l red.
Ur loss is wreckage
Oh lament.
My li'l's now dead
To me.

I can't see the green fields.
Oh!
I can't see the windmill.
Oh ho!
I can't see the birds on wire in a row.

My li'l's lost forever
To me.

It was packed in polka yellow
And smelled like a garden of roses.
White ribbons bow tied
Fell in twirled bunches.
So many li'l hearts
Pasted all over my li'l red.

Oh, my Red!
I miss you so
It wells me up.

These tracks go on for miles and more
These tracks go on for miles and more

I'll find another heart
Bind it with wind
Lace it with golden daffodils
Spray with sunset red.

Another red. Another day. Another life.
Look outside the window.
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

www.shreejawrites.blogspot.com

good night

the dark bleeds silent tears
the silent tears evaporate into thin air
the air gets sultry

the life bleeds hope
the hope evaporates into complacency
the complacency gets too much

On my way

21st June '13

I’m stuck around the corner

so stuck I cannot move

a wedge is there

sharp and pointed and hurting

I’ll wear a gown of feathers blue and fly to you

all the soothing soothe

in the brooding mood

down down down

underwater

I’ll wrap a saree of scales green and swim to you

let the wind blow

let the storms wail

I’ll journey still

godspeed

I”ll grow a cloak of mane chestnut-brown and gallop to you with wind in my hair

yooheen chal pade

14th June '13

तो हम यूहीं चल पड़ें

वापस उसी ओर

जहां से अंधियारी आई

सवेरा भी उसी मोड़

लाल लाल लालिमा

सवेरे का दस्तक देती है

कल कल कलकी चोट

क़दमों को पीछे खीचती है

फिर भी हम यूहीं चल पड़े

कदम से कदम बढ़ाते हुए

दिल की दस्तक को सुनने को

नए सवेरे की ओर

Lost Kite

31st May '13

Just feel so lost somedays

Like I belong nowhere

Not even to myself

Like I’m a drifting kite

With cut strings

Trying to merge myself

Match my colour

To the terrains

I drift over

When the wind doesn’t blow

I seek a cote in corners

On treetops,

And tangles of the city wires

I get wet in rain

I get torn

I get patches of dirt

I’m a drifter

Of the sky

I’m a piece of paper

From the tree

I’m a wanderer

Who got lost

And then died.

McCleodganj

May '2013

Looking for myself in the hills
in little cafes, colourful bazaars
and in the wind that tousled my hair.

Found a glimpse in the prayer wheels
a little reflection in the topaze of a pendant.

The prayer flags fluttered in the wind
told me I was everywhere that I smiled.

Really!
how to be complete?
maybe I'll never be complete..
maybe we'll never be complete..
it's a loss we'll just have to bear..
how to bear the loss?
it's too much a burden..
we have to let it drop..
But how?

Euthanasia

28th Feb'13

pull out the hair

pull pull pull

till it comes all out

pull it hard

so it pulls the nerves

let the nerves in the head

be pulled out straignt

straight out of the nervous entangled

pulled out of the complicated

pull out in a strand

out of the knotted system

pull out nerves

that give blood to the grey

numb it

just pull the plug

let it be

brain dead

Fragmented I live. Whole I'd die.

16th February '13

bits of soul.
bits of emotions.
bits of persons one's been.
bits of experiences.
bits of hopes.
bits of expectations.
bits of the bits of the lots of thing.
scattered.

these scattered bits come together.
these scattered bits make groups.
these scattered bits get into conflicts with each other.
these scattered bits discuss.
these scattered bits have engaging conversations.
these scattered bits co-exist.
these scattered bits can't co-exist.
these scattered bits morph into personalities.
split-personality

On a swing in the dark with a glass of wine

Seated on suspended ropes
I hang mid air
Swinging in all directions
Not touching
But too close to the ground

Drops drops everywhere
White glistening sparkling ones
They drench my dress
Oh the stench
Such a scent

The silent shadow holds the ropes
The swinging continues
It's a play of light
Not real
It looms anyway
Raising hope

Shadow's waiting
Seated away
There but not there yet

Swinging continues
Up up up in the air

love is red?

hmmmmmmmmm..............
buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........
meowwwwwwww...

bow wow..

no

woof woof...this is what this li'l kid kept shouting out to dogs of all types as he pedaled his cycle within the complex. Was he saying HI to them? Or just woofing to them, as he couldn't well expect them to speak to him.

The winter's receding. The branches are stark. Waiting for the colours of the spring to dress them up.

It's the eve of Valentine's Day. Tomorrow when I get out of the house.. the whole world would be a swarm of coincidentally dressed red bees.

The whole world revolves around love every single day.. and especially on this day...when it's all about love.. it seems more about RED... red hearts, red roses, red dresses...

Why can't love be water's BLUE or even the sunshine's YELLOW...

Who associated LOVE with RED? Was it the same person who linked it to CHristmas?

the marshes are in the woods

13th Febrauary'13

as you sink down down down
you pull down trees with you
trees and their roots and branches
and li'l nests with eggs and squirrels and fairy folk

glee of the gulps - the last gulps of air and then the gulps of muddy water
the gulps as you submerge
the gulps as li'l bubbles of air go up
the gulps as the surface engulfs you

sucked into the vortex
everything goes round and round
is it the world spinning around me
or am I the top?

a wail through the woods
the marshes are full again
the sounds of harp grow faint
the marshes are full again